Lunch behavior: Always ask the hottest girl and the quietest, most health-conscious guy out to lunch at a BBQ shack. See how they reject you and keep following-up on it the next day, and the next day, and the next day…
When in meetings… You should never put your phone on silent; in fact let it ring your favorite song-track. And if you don’t have friends who’ll call you, try texting excessively or just constantly clicking your pens and saying excuse me each time you let out a long, loud yawn.
Computer behavior: Only use goofy event sounds for your alerts, and always be on top of forwarding chain letters to the office email list. It also would be extra fun to watch comedy clips on Youtube all the time and laugh hysterically to yourself.
Co-Worker interaction: Look deeply, longingly, and linger for awhile into the eyes of whomever is speaking directly to you, then be sure to tell them a long story that demands their time and attention yet be of no value and have absolutely no point.
Office Etiquette: Never use your sick days when you’re actually sick. Just come in, blow your nose every time someone passes by your desk, leave trails of kleenex, and cough extra loudly into the phone. Ask to borrow your co-worker’s phone cause yours has too much snot on it or ask to borrow their sweater cause you’re still too darn’ cold! [via whatthemuck]
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