There really aren’t any good corporations in the movies. They all seem to be flawed in some way, bent on making a boatload of cash, and willing to step on anyone that gets in their way. These evil conglomerates make for great story lines and have created a slew of villains throughout movie history. They’re great fun, but don’t ever submit an application to any of these guys. For your pleasure, we offer up 10 of our favorite corporations you’d never want to work for.
10. Digital Matrix
From: Looker
Digital Matrix wants perfect models and will go to any lengths to ensure they are blemish-free. These Beverly Hills hotties are sent to Dr. Larry Roberts to get those unsightly imperfections removed, but that proves an exercise in futility, as the models still are not perfect. Digital Matrix decides to make flawless computer simulations of the models, and agrees to pay them for life for their likeness. All is hunky dory until models start dying, Dr. Roberts begins to smell a rat, and the rat turns out to be none other than Digital Matrix.
9. The Soylent Corporation
From: Soylent Green
The Soylent Corporation has figured out a great way to turn that unwanted corpse into a truly bountiful treat. Bogus Oceanographic reports uncovered by Chuck Heston prove that Soylent Green is not plankton, but more likely a chunk of your deceased neighbor’s femur. The Soylent Corporation is a mega-corporation that took full advantage of a world gone awry, and will stop at nothing to keep their dirty little secret, including murdering a priest and paying off the governor of New York.
8. Milton, Chadwick & Waters
From: Devil’s Advocate
Milton, Chadwick & Waters represents some of the nastiest clients imaginable, and happens to be run by Satan. Milton (a.k.a. Satan, a.k.a. Al Pacino) lures a power-hungry Kevin (Keanu Reeves) into his web, and kills anyone who gets in the way. Milton’s ultimate plan is to have Kevin and his half-sister conceive the Antichrist, but things don’t go as planned, and Kevin takes a bullet in the noggin rather than give in to the devil. Milton, Chadwick & Waters would be a horrible place to work if you had any morals, but might not be so bad if you were looking for the fast track to success... and were willing to give yourself over to the dark side.
7. Multi-National United
From: District 9
Multi-National United is hired by the South African government to relocate the “prawns” to District 10. Wikus van de Merwe, a MNU employee, is chosen to head the relocation process, but nothing goes as planned. Wikus ends up with an alien appendage that has the secret, evil MNU lab boys very interested in him. Wikus soon realizes that the executives that sign his checks are a bunch of immoral bastards, with a taste for lies, deception, and torture, all in an attempt to reveal the secret of the alien weapons technology.
6. Cyberdyne Systems
From: Terminator
Cyberdyne Systems is the brains behind Skynet, a weapons system put in place to render human beings obsolete. So what could possibly go wrong, right? Well, when the super computer becomes “self-aware,” Cyberdyne decides to shut it down, a decision not taken lightly by said super computer. In retaliation for its bosses’ ballsy move, Skynet launches a nuclear strike on Russia, and judgment day begins! Cyberdyne is eventually destroyed, but its patents are sold to U.S. government, who continues to run Skynet (don’t get us started on the dealings of the U.S. government). Cyberdyne gets high marks for its technological advances, but fails miserably in the “what if this was to happen” area… and they get a slap on the wrist for starting a nuclear war.
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